Stop Being the Answer Desk

Last week we ran the Absence Audit. If your replies are anything to go by, a lot of you found the same thing.

The Decisions column was full.

So let's talk about it.

Here's something I've come to believe: most people who keep asking you questions are not incapable. They're unclear.

They don't know which decisions are theirs. So they do the safe thing. They ask.

And every time you answer, you teach them to ask again.

A quick question takes you two minutes to answer. That feels cheap.

But count them. Ten quick questions a day is twenty minutes, sure. It's also ten interruptions, ten context switches, and ten moments where someone else's work stopped and waited for you.

Multiply that across a team and a year, and the answer desk becomes one of the most expensive roles in the business. You're just not paying for it in payroll. You're paying for it in your own attention.

There's a better design.

Jocko Willink and Leif Babin call it decentralized command: the people closest to the problem make the call, because they understand the intent behind it. The leader's job isn't to make every decision. It's to make sure everyone knows what we're trying to achieve and where the boundaries are.

You don't need to have led in combat for this to apply. It works in a salon, a landscaping company, a family kitchen.

People can only own what they understand.

Every recurring decision in your world sits on one of four rungs. The problem is that most teams have never been told which one.

How to use it this week:

1.     List your top 10 recurring decisions. Pull them straight from last week's Decisions column.

2.     Assign each a rung. Be braver than feels comfortable. Most owners put things on rung 4 that belong on rung 2.

3.     Add a boundary. A dollar limit, a time limit, or a "unless it involves X." Boundaries are what make rungs 1 and 2 feel safe.

4.     Share it. One page. Post it, send it, talk it through in five minutes.

5.     Move things down over time. Rung 4 is not permanent. It's "not yet."

When the next question arrives, try this:

"What would you do if I weren't here?"

Then, more often than not: "Great. Do that."

It will feel slower the first five times. By the twentieth, people will arrive with the answer already in hand.

This isn't delegation for the sake of efficiency.

You're building judgment in the people around you. That's the thing that lets a business grow beyond its founder. It's also the thing that lets you take a Tuesday afternoon off without checking your phone eleven times.

And for those of us who are leaders inside larger teams — or the default decision-maker at home — the ladder works exactly the same way.

Which decision am I still making because I like being the one who makes it?

Be honest. Some of us enjoy the answer desk more than we admit.

What happens when the career you've spent decades building is no longer the thing that defines you?

This week, I'm joined by Michelle Everill, who spent more than 25 years in pharmaceutical R&D working at the intersection of technology, innovation, and human behavior before stepping into a very different chapter.

Together, we explore identity beyond achievement, what it means to navigate uncertainty without losing yourself, and Michelle's Hurricane Concept — a powerful framework for finding clarity and reclaiming agency when life feels anything but predictable.

Because whether you're leading a business, navigating a career transition, or simply questioning what's next, there's a difference between managing everything around you and knowing what truly matters.

Sometimes the most important thing we can lead is ourselves.

Until then — build your ladder.

— Nikki

The Wider Measure

P.S. Reply with the one decision you're moving from rung 4 to rung 2 this week. Saying it out loud makes it real.